One of the biggest challenges in your quest to becoming a shellbreaker is to connect with others. I know it’s something that I’m trying my hardest to get better at doing. But it’s challenging to reach out to others you admire without looking like a dork in the process.
You can usually tell a creep when it’s coming a mile away. And really have just one shot to make that first impression, you kinda want to make it a good one. Making an online connection can be tricky at times but I’m here to help you out with that.
Here are five things you should know when making your online connection without being creepy!
1. Act Like You’re a Stranger
You have to act like you’re a stranger because that’s exactly who you are. You wouldn’t stop somebody randomly on the street and start acting like your best buds with them would you?
If someone did that to you, you would think they were what?
So just be the stranger. Play that role…What would a stranger do?
Let’s put it in this context…
Let’s say you saw a Hollywood star you admired sitting in the exact same restaurant as you. How would you approach them? Would you go to the table, grab a chair and start making with the conversation. Uh, no!
First of all, that’s rude. Second of all, you would look…wait for it…
Like insanely creepy.
The normal thing to do would be to go over briefly, apologize for possibly disturbing the dinner and say that you admire their work. Maybe even thank them for what they do and be off!
Now online, when you email them, they have the added bonus of knowing who you are by name. But you’re still a stranger to them. At least you are at first. So don’t do anymore than this or I’ll sick the creep dogs after you.
That’s right I’ll get The Creep Police after ya…and you don’t want that!
2. Don’t Overstay Your Conversation
Say you get in contact with someone of influence and they follow up in a joking manner. This doesn’t give you a pass to be their best friend now.
“Ooooh…he wrote back with a Funny!”
“I’ll write him back about how my dog ruined my new carpet..he’ll love that!”
Don’t get all happy after one follow up.
Get a hold of yourself!
Have some pride!
Where’s your dignity?
They still don’t know you. Now, of course, return their follow up email with something but make it short and brief.
Don’t clog up their email with quirky little sayings. You two aren’t cool like that yet. Keep your words to a minimum and don’t be a desperate follow upper!
3. Don’t Be a Social Crasher
Stay in Your Virtual Lane Homie!
I was just dying to say that…please forgive. But seriously, stay in your virtual lane. If you try to connect making a comment on a Facebook post.
…Then drive over to plus him on Google+.
…Then fly over to LinkedIn to endorse his skills.
…Then bus over to Instagram to heart his pics.
You know how you look right?
Don’t be social crasher. It just looks bad. Almost stalker-like and nobody wants that.
Nobody needs that!
Save yourself the embarrassment because you look way too obvious. Follow in one, maybe two…ok I’ll give you three social places at the most but keep it moving after that. Everyone needs their virtual space.
4. Do Something Useful
You wanna make good relationships online?
Do something useful for that person. Endorse and like their pages. Give them useful critique that will help them. Help promote them if they are doing a special project so they can make a little moolah.
This a bond to form from the get go.
Give them the feeling that they should owe you something in return. Thus, the Law of Reciprocity (look it up). Don’t expect a handout though. It will come if you keep giving first.
Otherwise, they’ll know that you’re coming with your hands out, looking for a handout. And that’s never a good look, especially online.
5. Have Something Going On For Yourself
And the most important way to make connections is to have something going on for yourself. In other words, get yourself together.
- Be interesting.
- Do something interesting.
- Say something interesting.
- Write something interesting.
…So that you are of some value to that person.
Because they will look you up. Just like you looked them up to see what you’re all about. And if you’re all about nothing, guess where your email is going?
In the CREEEEEPY PILE!
That’s right. Don’t you forget it.
So optimize all of your profiles. Put up real pictures of yourself and write a cool bio. Show that you’re worth getting to know. Have some rad videos of you being kooky. Take pics of you being crazy!
Now you’ve turned yourself into an interesting person to be around. Makes sense?
Be cool when you’re trying to connect with others online. They know that you’ll probably want something from them eventually. They know already!
They just don’t want you to be creepy about it. No one does. Not even you. Because you’ll look like, well…you’ll look like a loser.
So stay away from being creepy and a loser or a creepy loser. ok?
Have you had any creepy moments online you’d like to share. I have several but I won’t share till you do. So let me hear some then I’ll spill the beans on mine.