I was always fascinated by a couple people in my life who seemingly had absolutely no cause to be ashamed ever. Like no filter…embarrassment would be a foreign language to them.
It’s like they never felt it. If they made a mistake or said something out of place, it was just…oh well. In fact they couldn’t wait to tell that comical story of how much they embarrassed themselves. Even though you never got the sense they were actually hurt by it.
This attitude intrigue me so much over the years. It haunted me in a way. Wishing I coul be like that…a man without shame! Why couldn’t I be like that…even a smidgen.
And this is what we’ll discuss today. The benefits of living with no shame to your game. Perhaps if you can get the importance, you can embrace this type of attitude for knocking down some nagging barriers of your own.
1. Being Oblivious to Reactions
Whenever I was in the presence of my seemingly unabashed friends, I would sit there in a amazement. I’d watch and see them say the craziest, unfiltered things and think,
“Are you crazy?!”
“What are you saying right now!”
Their response would be like…“What?…did I say something wrong?”
Just oblivious to whatever!
It didn’t seem wrong to say what they said or do what they did. There was no wondering what people might think if they said this. None of that.
Absolutely no shame in being who they were. They didn’t let people around them affect what they did in life. And this is something that I didn’t understand at first.
You know how we are…”That wasn’t appropriate.” “That was so embarrassing.”
“I can’t believe they did that.”
The normal response would be this, but to them….eh?!
I was always one to agonize over things I did days later. I would feel ashamed about stuff I deemed not so nice. I was probably judging myself too much. In fact I know I was doing this over and over again.
Years and Years of Not Saying or Doing More for Fear of How People Would React
I filtered my words…
Hesitated on my actions…
This was not a plan for success. In fact it brought on layers of belief that this was the right thing to do. Hiding yet in another shell of not being myself always.
And if you can’t be yourself always then I would suggest you’re not living your life to the fullest.
So Live YOU…yeah YOU!
Try this oblivious reaction the next time you think you might be saying too much. Just say…
“What I’d say?”
Say that. Shrug your shoulders and start dusting off the reactions of others who can’t hurt you with their stares or words. Simple as that.
2. Never Really an Embarrassing Moment
How would like to live a life of never feeling embarrassment?
What if you could actually live this way?
How much more could you accomplish?
Just imagine how much further each decision you make would travel.
- No stressing over what people thought about your goals in life.
- No agonizing over whether people would like your new business idea.
- No flipping out about how you would sound to others on interviews or client meetings.
You make the decision and who cares about what others think. In general of course. There’s always the spouse or some family and friends that you will most likely value their opinion (or not).
What if you got called out by these people that are close to you in public…and instead of feeling ashamed and embarrassed, you could just brush it off?
It can be done if you can just take the weight one event off your shoulders quickly.
We Tend to Pile On the Guilt and Shame Over and Above What Really Happened.
It brings to mind a skit by the late Chris Farley on SNL. He has his own show where he would interview guest stars. He would get so far with the questions till he crucified himself over it…thinking he screwed up. He would be so nervous and anxious that the whole interview would wrong.
He was basically expecting to say or do the wrong thing. It should never be this bad.
And although it was a funny skit, this is real life for many. I know it was for me and I still get a bit antsy about things today. But I’m better. I had to be unless I’d still be stuck in that shell.
I won’t do it cuz that’s embarrassing!
I won’t say it cuz that’s embarrassing!
So nothing gets done. You put your life on hold because of something silly that probably no one really cares about except you.
3. You Stand Out Big Time
So what’s the biggest, most crucial reason to live with No Shame to Your Game?
You just stand out baby!
People remember you.
They remember you because you do things they would never do or say in a million years.
- They will always do the appropriate thing.
- You will always do the thing that says who you are.
You won’t be the one that hides who you are. That’s the norm. That’s the appropriate way of life.
Now if you want to live like everyone else, so be it. But you’ll never be yourself at least not around the public….ooooh! Scary!
Don’t be scared to be who you are at all times. In fact, there should never be a time when you can’t be yourself ever. This is the goal of being a shell breaker.
Stand out and be Yourself.
Live without guilt.
Live without Shame.
Don’t apologize for what you do or say (within reason, of course). And never feel ashamed about who you are, what you do or what you say. Live free and stay unshelled.